Find your horseshoe Pt. 2

Thanks for coming back as I share more about the journey to finding authenticity again.....

When we see a person who we really look up to (and maybe even aspire to be a little like), we rarely see the process of what it took to get there. You may see before and after photos and think "wow that looks cool, I want that" but what we don't see in the photos are the meltdowns, self-doubt, fear, resistance, external pressures, feeling alone, and wanting to give it all up.

We may even have feelings of envy and think "must be nice", but we aren't seeing all the hard work and struggle it took to get where they are today.

When these motivators speak of their journey, we may think, "holy cow that's a lot and now I'm already defeated and could never do what they did", (critter brain starts to burrow it's little lies into our belief systems), but trust me dear one, Rome wasn't built in a day. Everyone takes baby steps in life.

And this journey back to finding myself had just as many deep valleys as it did rainbows and Pinterest worthy social media shares. One quote that helped me along my way is:
“Don't compare your chapter 1 to someone else's chapter 20.”

The list was long. All the things I was going to do to take action and get life back on track. Yet I put the most important thing last. We always tend to do that, don't we, resist what we need most, lol!

The thing that was important for me to first recognize was that there was a very clear divide in how to attack the long list of topics needed for self-care. So here's how I broke mine down:
Things I needed to accomplish
Things I needed to let go or delegate
You read the last part right. Sometimes self-care is about stopping and NOT doing something in order to preserve your energy. ______________________________________________

Things I did:

Exercise
One of the first things I did at the beginning of the year was starting a fitness challenge in the Wellness Warrior group where we posted daily at home workouts to keep each other accountable. When the weather was nicer I started going for walks and even eventually began running again. I used to run 5k's and half marathons, I was even in cross country in high school, and though I'm not a speedy person, I love the stress outlet. Over the last 6 years of becoming a mom, I let go of my love of being strong. Through moving my body, and moving the stuck energy out of my body, I began to feel stronger physically.


Scheduling relaxing self-care
When you're the one doing the treatments, it's hard to take time to have this done yourself. I also carried a great deal of guilt taking time out to do things for my own well being. What I reminded myself was that in order to give myself fully, I had to give to myself first. (also, see what I had to NOT do below)

I booked facials with another esthetician. I started receiving massages, Reiki and acupuncture which helped with my neck pain incredibly. It also lay bare some inner work I hadn't addressed yet.

Scheduling other long awaited services
For years, I've wanted to try a few appearance enhancing, mood boosting services but allowed myself to be brought back by fear of judgement of others. This year - I wasn't allowing that negative self talk to continue. I'm an esthetician for heaven's sake! The word esthetician literally speaks about appearance!

I got my eyebrows micro-bladed. I got BOTOX (and I love them BOTH gall dang it!). And I brushed off comments about "what's next" from the nay-sayers who don't walk my path.

I even worked with a health coach. It was an experience that was probably one of the most beneficial, especially given the pandemic and feeling out of control with life. We talked about mental well being, physical, food and diet, and each week I made my own goal list. Little by little each week, as the previous week became habit, we added just one more, until all of a sudden at the end of the 90 days I was doing almost all of the things I set out to do. I had a full sheet of paper of goals - some big, some small, and we knocked them out.

It took work. There were tears some days as I grew from these experiences and was more aware than ever before what I had been doing that wasn't beneficial. There was healing. I had hope. And I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat.

I went back to a vibrational healing modality I hadn't touched in years : Bach Flower Therapy.
Each plant providing it's own healing power. When ingested, the vibration loosens trapped patterns, traumas, or states of being. It worked so well the first time (back in the day before I fully understood energy work) that it sort of scared me. But I was ready to go back in and learn deeper this time. I dove in, I did the work on me first and am now taking my first practice client in hopes that soon I can offer this incredible tool to you all.

And finally, to really address the acute pain in my neck, I got in to see a darn chiropractor!
Remember how I said the thing we need most is what we usually resist?! Well, this was it!



A few things that don't fit most categories but felt good for my soul
I began making a conscious effort accepting compliments. I bought pants with a button (in a world of leggings) that fit and made me feel spunky and not sloppy. And I aimed to genuinely look people in the eye while conversing and listen to their story.
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Things I no longer allowed myself to do:
Crave more, more, more
By allowing for less, I noticed I had less stress. This fit both a material aspect as well as a work-a-holic aspect. I had to accept I wasn't always going to get it all done in a day. I had to set realistic expectations.

Be available all the time
Office hours were created in my daily schedule so I could fit in much needed back-of-the-house work (accounting, marketing, etc). It allowed me to be more present during services and at home with my family. It also created reasonable boundaries so I wasn't always on call.

I stopped spending so much time on social media. That meant having to give up the idea that I had to be in front of my clients 5 times a day with catchy posts, or that I wasn't sending emails out frequently. Social media was draining me, and putting me into lack mindset so much that I would feel so unworthy after a scroll session that I just gave up. No more!

Now that I was able to be more in the present with those around me. I was able to truly reconnect with myself, my intuition, and even reconnect with loved ones. There is a great deal of generational healing that continues when we take the time to be in the now instead of the past or wishing for the days to come.

It helped me to learn to forgive from a genuine place. To love people for who they are, based on their own life experiences, and to accept where each person is at on their own path. There are still days I have to remind myself that my version of right/wrong isn't the same as the next persons so who even knows what's up or down anymore anyhow! Just give it up and love those around you, Brooke!

LET SHIT GO!
I had to stop having mom-guilt. My husband is capable. (that's a complete sentence with a period). Which meant, I had to let go of control thinking things were going to be done the way I do them but the end result was the same (happy, healthy family).

I decided to stop taking opinions into consideration as much. Which also meant, if someone came to my home (3 kids and 2 animals) I had to be okay with the conditions of cleanliness and not stress about dusting vigorously prior to arrival anymore.

Or maybe not take every suggestion to heart but to follow my own!
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I feel like, though I know going to the chiropractor was what was definitely needed first....there's a reason all the rest of the list came before it.....

Some days we have all the answers. Some days we are incredibly lost.

I was in a pretty good state of pain at the beginning of the year - but what I didn't realize until recently, was that my pain wasn't only physical. I had been carrying so much mental and emotional pain with me that I didn't even realize until well after I decided this was going to be my year of self care that this was the case and it was time to address it.

It was as if the Universe knew that first I needed to address my internal struggles with isolation and abandonment, fear and resentment, and low self-worth before I was even ready to address what was physically hurting me. And when I took the time, day by day, week by week, month by month to sit and reflect or to re-write my goal list.....when I took the time to slow down, get quiet, listen in, to allow myself to feel and to heal....the pain subsided....the vision became more clear....and love grew in place of were the wounds were.

In conclusion.....

We all have a story. We all have a journey and a path.
If I can offer a ray of hope to someone else's doom and gloom, I hope this is a laser-beam of light!

We have got to live true to ourselves.
We have to be open and vulnerable (all the times I wasn't, it was because I was afraid of an other's opinion).

We need not think the grass is greener any longer.
Our grass is amazing as it is!
We must accept ourselves as we are and not strive toward unattainable goals - yet we also must realize we are more worthy than we give ourselves credit for.

Find a horseshoe of people who inspire you - find those who are ahead of you on a path you desire - learn from them - appreciate them.

Never, ever, stop your willingness to grow.
It isn't "striving for perfection" - it's what we are put on earth to do!


And!
If you're looking to jump on a path towards self-care, healing, beautification, doing the inner and/or outer work....WE are your biggest supporters!
Let me or someone on the team know how we can support you and help you with your goals. Let us refer you to some of our favorites even outside of our practice.
The world rises when we lift those around us.


be well
xo,
Brooke